501 Reasons Why
by forever-and-always-dancing
Summary: Courtney liked to make lists. She even has one that outlines all the reasons why her and Duncan will never, ever work out. Oneshot.


She didn't really know what it was that drew her to him so much. He wasn't really the type she'd go for. Scratch that, he wasn't the type she'd go for at all. But nevertheless, she was intrigued by him. Because although he had that whole grunge-punk, I'm-a-badass vibe and had gone to juvy numerous times it wasn't as if she believed he'd actually hurt her. No, Courtney figured, Duncan was nothing more than an eschewing rule disciple that liked to play pranks. He wasn't a bad guy- he was just a kid.

At least, she thought, before he broke her heart.

There were a million reasons why they wouldn't work out. Why they didn't work out. She started to make a list since they broke up. Sometimes she updated it every couple weeks, other times she'd feverishly type down a hundred on her brand new iPhone (she figured it was about time to ditch the PDA- it was so 2005). Gwen thought it was extremely senseless and compared Courtney to Sierra, often saying that she obsessed over the list like Sierra did over Cody. But Courtney didn't care. It was like having a Twitter. Sometimes you'd tweet and retweet excessively, and other times you'd barely even go on for five minutes. But it was always there.

Courtney ran her hand through her long, black tresses and sighed. She had been meaning to cut it for a while but she lately she's been at a loss for time. It was a chilly night in Providence, the October air setting a mild but crisp chill in the air. Of course the never ending humidity was a constant nuisance to her hair, but it's not like she had anyone to impress anyway.

_#490: He never noticed when I did anything new to my hair._

She crossed her arms around her white trench coat and walked faster, admiring her new black wedge booties. Hair fell in her face and consequently she stumbled into someone, causing her to drop her purse and the other person's belongings.

Courtney immediately bent down and scrambled to collect rolling objects, it was evident she had bumped into a girl with the amount of lipsticks that had dropped. Courtney scooped up the last one and apologized as the girl smiled and thanked her for helping. The girl's boyfriend, of whom Courtney just noticed, laughed at the girl and remarked on her usual clumsiness. Courtney felt a sliver of disgust and regret for helping the girl when she slapped her boyfriend's arm then cuddled closer to him. They strolled away, arms linked.

_#491: He would have never helped me pick up my stuff. He'd probably just watch and laugh._

Finally reaching her destination, Courtney arrived at Mama Kim's Korean BBQ food truck. Normally, she preferred a much healthier alternative but it had been a longest day at work and she needed something greasy to unwind. Plus, it was conveniently right up Brown's campus. Although she lived off campus, she still lived nearby in a Brown owned apartment.

It was 6:00, meaning the food truck line was already long and congested. Courtney sighed and took her place at the back, quickly joined by other Brown students some of which she recognized. She smiled but subtly shifted away to avoid conversation. She was definitely not in the mood for interaction.

_#492: He didn't understand when I wasn't in the mood to talk. He would pester me relentlessly until I gave him some sort of reaction. Idiot._

"I'll have one Beef Bulgogi rice set with Portuguese sweet bread please," Courtney said stepping up to the window. "And one portabella bokkeum rice set." She added. She knew Gwen would appreciate the vegetarian decision.

"Would you like a drink with that?" The man at the window asked. His nametag read Duncan.

Courtney blinked and shook her head. She then looked at his face and after realizing this was most definitely _not _the Duncan she knew- or used to know- she mentally battered herself; vehemently so. Courtney stepped aside for the next person to order and hated herself for the little bubbles of hope that had arose in the springs of her stomach. Suddenly she didn't have an appetite, regardless of how loudly her stomach rumbled just then and there at the smell of beef bulgogi cooking. This was the same stomach that had just lurched with excitement at a nametag.

_#493: God, he was such an idiot. _

Courtney walked home, plastic bag of food in hand. The night had set but she wasn't scared- Providence was a charming little town. It had a small town aura and the cityscape was like 19th century meets modern day skyscrapers that had morphed into a happy medium. Sometimes it reminded her of home, though Providence definitely was not as urban as Toronto. Still, you could find that 19th century charm in Toronto if you looked-especially in the houses.

Courtney walked alone along the street, bare trees aligning her way. Street lights dimly lit overhead, she felt like she could almost be apart of the Victorian era, passing ominous brick houses and wide windowsills. Providence was a quaint, almost magical town with its roads compact from where the buildings and sidewalks met. Courtney walked taller and almost willed her trench coat to become Victorian gown, corset and poofy ensemble and all.

_#494: He never understood when I talked about history. Or anything intellectual, really. He didn't even care._

"I'm home!" Courtney called. Immediately she collapsed into a dining room chair and practically clawed open the plastic box of food. Halfway into shoveling her face, she noticed a note hastily scribbled in Gwen's writing stating she was out and she'd be home later. Courtney glanced at Gwen's food and wondered if she should eat it for herself then shook her head. Last week she had accidentally shrunk most of Gwen's band t-shirts in the wash. Courtney didn't really understand why Gwen was so mad. She almost thought she had done Gwen a favor- they were hideous and terribly morbid- but she figured this would make it up to her, whether Gwen would eat it or not.

_#495: He did not, for the life of him, know how to do laundry._

Courtney wrapped her long hair up in a bun, thoroughly satisfied from her meal. Glancing at the clock, it was only 7:30. Cleaning up her mess, she decided to shower and then maybe watch a movie and turn in for the night. Sometimes Courtney thought she led a rather boring life but the pros of that heavily outweighed the cons. She liked having a routine just as much as she liked making lists. Although almost everything about her has changed from when she was sixteen, one of the few things that hasn't was her impeccable efficiency and orderliness.

And her fear of green jello. Courtney mentally shuddered. She didn't think she'd ever get over that.

After her shower, Courtney sat on the toilet seat of her bathroom and meticulously blow dried her hair. She heard the front door open over the humming of the hair dryer and turned it off, quickly brushed her hair, and stood up to greet Gwen.

"Hey Gwen," Courtney started. She heard two voices and noticed Gwen had company but proceeded anyway. "I bought you dinner-"

All voices halted. Courtney stood in the kitchen, completely stricken by just who Gwen had brought home with her. Aqua eyes met brown, then brown met a sheepish and slightly fearful black pair.

Silence. Oh the silence. This was definitely not how Courtney imagined to reunite with her former flame. Her clad in a white robe, the tips of her hair still slightly wet and dripping, barefoot. Somehow, she imagined the reunion a slightly more... dramatic one, including her wearing something totally sexy and mouthwatering all the while crushing his heart with a vengeance unknown to man. She so badly wanted to resort to her teenage ways, to say something in a scoffing and disdainful manner and turn up her nose and storm away.

But Courtney was an adult now, 20 years old and not even studying to get an LL.B. She wasn't even minoring in anything related to law or politics. She was majoring molecular pharmacology and had black hair for crying out loud! She wasn't sixteen anymore, Junior class president and head of the debate team, a prestigious spot that had only been bestowed upon seniors for years until she came along. Her life has changed, her appearance has changed, her attitude has somewhat slightly changed-

So why was it that she still felt the same butterflies she did when she was sixteen? Hell, it wasn't even butterflies right now. It was a full on explosion of critters, of caterpillars and spiders and rolly pollies and whatever creepy crawlies that had been stored away in the crevices of her abdomen and reserved only for the appearance of Duncan.

Courtney hated him. She hated him so much for ruining every chance she had with every potentially successful and rich bachelor that attended Brown University- and best believe there were a lot. He didn't even realize it, or even know for that matter! And even if he did, he'd probably just laugh at her for this stupid infatuation she still held for him even four years after they broke up. He probably thought she was pathetic. Courtney eyed him in what she hoped could pass as critical, but secretly drank in the sight of him. He still had the same scruffy, punk look but age had made him look more rugged. He had a five o'clock shadow and a gray beanie so she couldn't tell if he still had a mohawk. He had bags under his eyes and a squarer jawline, which she didn't even know was possible. He ditched the dog collar, but stuck with the eyebrow piercing. His unibrow was gone and in place of his teal spikes on his ear, he wore a teal taper. He was taller, much buffer, and tattoo sleeves were etched completely on both arms.

He was the first to break the silence. "You didn't tell me you lived with her," Duncan said to Gwen, his tone accusatory. Despite the little pang of hurt, she felt her lip curl in revulsion.

"Well no one exactly informed me of what the cat was dragging in either." Courtney retorted, glaring at Gwen. "And I'll have you know that this is my house so you are more than entitled to-"

"Guys!" Gwen cut Courtney off, her voice edging on panic and emphatic calm. "C'mon, can we please get along now? We're grown adults!"

Courtney glared at Duncan as he did the same. Leave it to him to bring out the immature side of her.

"Fine." Courtney spat. She took a deep breath and forced a smile. "Duncan. It's... been a while."

Duncan didn't move but gave a curt nod. "Yup."

Again there was silence. This time it was just awkward. Courtney had flashbacks of Total Drama and thought it'd be a fitting time for the scene to cut to the confessional booth. She could only imagine what a rant she'd conjure up. But Gwen, appearing satisfied to have ameliorated the brief tension, said "I'm glad we can all be mature and move past whatever we had in the past. Like seriously guys..."

Gwen rambled on, evidently trying to prevent another awkward silence. Courtney tuned her out, instead staring at Duncan without trying to be obvious and continuously pinched herself to make sure this wasn't a dream. Some horrible, twisted dream.

Courtney only came back to awareness when Gwen cleared her throat. She jumped and found Duncan staring back at her, only he wasn't trying to hide it. Courtney frowned, irritated from his lack of subtlety and pulled out her phone from her robe pocket.

_#496: He's so rude!_

"Anyways, Duncan was in town because of his band and I called him and here he is! He's staying in the room Bridgette used to be in." Gwen turned to Duncan and said, "Don't worry. All her stuff is gone and she moved out awhile ago. We've been looking for a new roommate for ages." Then she turned back to Courtney. "Isn't that great Court?"

Courtney licked her lips, suddenly acutely aware of her now damp hair. "Yeah fantastic. Listen, I need to finish blow drying so if you'll excuse me-"

Duncan jeered and said, "You still get sick if you don't dry your hair?" Almost immediately a look of surprise rippled across his face, as if taken aback he even remembered such a detail.

Courtney didn't know how to respond. She settled for a haughty, "Yes actually." And turned her nose and walked away into her room. She figured it was safer that way, to stick to the same old Courtney and Duncan script. No ad-libs, no impromptu write ins. It was familiar and worn. Sure it was retired and hadn't been in use for a while, maybe fraying at the edges, but once Courtney memorized a script she never forgot it.

She blow dried her hair way faster than normal, telling herself it was because she had left it wet for too long and it was nothing more than that. When deciding what pajamas she wanted to wear, Courtney found herself pondering more than necessary. She eventually growled and literally tore off a too big plaid long sleeve off her hanger, irritated at herself for making a big fuss over what was supposed to be nothing. She yanked open the dresser drawer containing her pants and grabbed the first piece of comfortable material her hand touched and pulled them on. After all, if she didn't care about Duncan and what he thought, why was she stressing over what to wear? To sleep?!

_#497: He literally gets under my skin. All. The damn. Time. _

As much as she tried to resist, Courtney found herself anxiously peering at herself in the mirror. Her freckled face was flushed but at least her plaid shirt wasn't wrinkled. She discovered she had thrown on a pair of yoga pants in the process of trying a little too hard to not care. Courtney ran a hand one last time through her jet black hair- geez it was long- and left the room, bracing herself.

She found Duncan and Gwen sitting across one another at the dining table, Gwen having found the food Courtney had bought her and digging in. As she approached them she mentally kicked herself for persuading Gwen and Bridgette to buy the extremely small, four top table they had. At the time, it seemed like a really good idea- the owner had been selling it for super cheap and spending the excess money was the last thing Courtney needed as a starving college student. Although Bridgette argued it was too small to be sensible, Courtney had retaliated with "Why do we need a bigger one? It's cheap, plus it's not as if any of us have company over often. Except Geoff," she added. "And even then, it's perfect. It fits four people. I doubt all of us will be home at the same time most nights anyway." Of course in the end she had gotten her way. She hadn't sued the producers of Total Drama (multiple times) and won (again, multiple times) for nothing. Did people really think her lawyers did all of the work?

But now, it was a very bad idea, considering either way she had no choice but to sit next to Duncan. And Gwen too of course, but the latter didn't exactly twist her stomach into knots like the former.

_#498: He makes me sick to my stomach. _

As Courtney sat down, she was relieved to find that she hadn't interrupted the flow of conversation between them. The very last thing she needed was to discover that they were talking about her. She forced herself to sit upright and cross legged, resisting the incredibly strong urge to curl up in her chair and bring her knees to her chest. He smelled like weed, spearmint, and Calvin Klein's cologne Encounter. Courtney only knew it was that particular smell because after seeing Justin appear over and over again on the ad, she, Bridgette, and Gwen had gone out to try it just for kicks. The lady's face at the counter was priceless when they told her they all knew him personally. Courtney was actually very surprised to find he was wearing cologne at all. Back then, he always scoffed at those who did and boasted his natural scent was "good enough".

But then again, he had changed and so had she.

"... And that's when I realized the bitch was about as fake as her fucking tits." Duncan was saying, shaking his head and smirking. "But hey, she was still smokin' and didn't stop me from bangin' her."

Courtney audibly gagged and glared at Duncan. "Excuse me, but if you have even an inkling of fear for your precious cojones I'd suggest you stop talking."

Duncan raised an eyebrow and looked amused. He leaned back in his chair and said, "Cojones? Sheesh, four years later and you still talk like some sixty year old lady that hasn't had her daily dose of Viagra."

"Yeah, and you still talk like an inebriated monkey with no brains to serve as a filter." Courtney retorted.

"What the fuck does 'inebriated' even mean?" Duncan quipped. But it was all said without any real malicious intent. Truth be told, she kind of missed this. Courtney felt herself loosen up a little. Gwen seemed to realize this too and relaxed immensely.

"By the way Court, thanks for dinner." Gwen pushed back her now empty plastic container. "It was delicious."

"I didn't know you were a vegetarian now Gwen." Duncan remarked. "I would've never guessed, after that time at Buffalo Wild Wings."

Gwen immediately burst into laughter. "Shut up! You weren't much better!" She turned to Courtney. "After that Alien Resurr-eggtion episode when I teased him about needing carbs we made a deal to have an wing eating contest after Total Drama Action was over. We both yacked from eating way too much. After that day, I didn't touch chicken for a very long time."

Courtney raised an eyebrow, completely unaware of the incident. She knew that this had probably happened while her and Duncan were still dating and he most likely lied about his whereabouts at the time. Knowing her sixteen year old self, the Courtney then would have thrown a huge bitch fit if she had found out.

_#499: He's not trustworthy because he lies. And I always find out. Even four years later. _

"I'm gonna go make some coffee." Gwen suddenly said. "I'll be right back."

Duncan immediately stood up. "I'll help you."

"No, no!" Gwen protested, waving him down. "It's no trouble. We have one of those fancy Keurig ones. I insist Duncan."

Reluctantly Duncan slowly sat back down and briefly glanced at Courtney with an expression of unease. Courtney rolled her eyes. "Calm down Duncan. I was only kidding about the cojones thing. Kind of."

Duncan snorted and turned in his chair to face her. "Yeah, and I'd like to "kind of" believe you if it weren't for all those times you "kind of" did it on national TV. Ten times."

Courtney didn't even bother trying to hide her smug grin. "Oh please. It was more like five. And it was usually because you deserved it."

"I deserved it?" Duncan repeated in disbelief. "News flash baby doll, I actually didn't. Though I'm not sure if you remember what usually happened before you usually kicked me in the kiwis. Or after."

Courtney felt her cheeks warm. "Shut up! We were sixteen and everyone knows hormones are raging at that sophomoric age-"

"What did you say I had again? A 'primal, animal magnetism'?" Duncan waggled his eyebrows knowingly. "And you always tried to make out with me too, in front of everyone."

"Um, you must have selective memory because from what I recall, you were the one who would constantly try to dissuade me into letting you in my pants." Courtney retaliated. "And let's face it Duncan, I'm right because one: the probability of me being right is much, much higher and two: I see times haven't exactly changed, regarding our conversation earlier."

"You should try it. It ain't a bad life sweetheart." Now it was Duncan's turn to look smug.

_#500: The man is literally just an embodiment of hormones. And muscle. Fuck you Duncan._

"What's up with the hair anyway?"

Courtney looked up from her phone, startled. "Excuse me?"

"Your hair." Duncan gestured to lengthy locks. "Why'd you dye it?"

Courtney sniffed and stiffened. "What's it to you? That's like me asking about your now plural eyebrows. Or why you lied to me about going out with Gwen while we were still together."

"My manager waxed it while I was sleeping on the tour bus. She's been trying to make me do it since first she scouted us. And I didn't lie to you. If you can recall, we weren't together at that time." Duncan replied curtly.

Courtney scoffed. Now that he mentioned it, she actually did recall him telling her after they got back together. Only that had resulted in yet another breakup. "How did you possibly manage to not wake up?"

Duncan winked and propped his head on his palm, elbow placed on the table. He scratched at the stubble on his face his free hand. "Like I said sweetheart, it's a hard knock life. Maybe one day you'll learn how to rock as hard as me."

"You are revolting." Courtney sneered, turning away from him in her chair. "Some people actually have responsibilities in this world instead of floundering away in only what could be described as some frivolous past time."

Duncan suddenly leaned toward her, arms on his lap and face merely inches away from her, his electric blue eyes zapping with consciousness. Courtney could now catch the full impact of his scent nearly shivered with chills. "You didn't answer my question."

Courtney steeled herself with all the willpower she had to not give way to the man in front of her. "Well if you must know, I did it as a drunk dare one day and it just stuck. Surprised?"

"I don't like it." Duncan declared bluntly. "You should cut it and let it grow out to your natural color."

Courtney was appalled, then quickly replied with indignation. "Well I'm _so_ sorry I don't strive to please you in my life and I'm only allowing you to stay the night in my house you ignorant, purported-"

Duncan gently fingered the end strands of her hair and nearly closed the gap between their faces. "Hey Courtney." He breathed, smelling of peppermint.

"What?" She nearly gasped, breathless and stunned.

"Shut up."

And with that he closed the distance and Courtney felt herself kissing back with everything she had. It was an uproar of flames, fire starting from the tips of her toes and the crown of her head, licking up and down and throughout her body. Her throat was scorching; there was no air to parch her further and she was being smothered alive but she didn't care. Courtney only wanted to feed the flames further. Courtney's hands slipped under Duncan's shirt and she clawed at his back, sparing no mercy. This was no inferno caused by a meager match or flint, it was all electricity and Courtney felt the hairs standing up on the back of her neck from their charge. They were crackling; a teetering combustion willing to erupt. Duncan yanked her hair, forcing her head to tilt back and he attacked her neck with his mouth, leaving what she knew would be a dark purple imprint. She finally gasped, air gushing into her lungs and searing her throat further and she gave a fevered moan. His stubble scratched at her throat and she arched her back, eyes fluttering.

"Ahem."

Courtney's eyes burst open and in panic, threw Duncan off her. In the midst of everything Duncan's beanie had fallen off and a bright green faux hawk had revealed itself. Courtney smiled despite herself, secretly overjoyed he had still kept it- then remembered the circumstances and cringed.

Gwen's arms were crossed and with one hand she held a cup of steaming coffee. Both of her eyebrows were raised. "Sorry I took so long. The tubes got clogged with calcium again so I had to clean it. But it looks as if you two occupied yourselves nicely."

Courtney felt her face flush and knew her hair must be sticking up all over the place. She glanced at Duncan and was pleasantly surprised to see him looking sheepish as well- she had been expecting a cocky smirk, the one he wore when he would accuse her of trying to make out with him.

Gwen walked over to them and rolled her eyes. "I can't say I'm exactly surprised, but I didn't think it'd happen this early into the night. I thought you guys would've had a little rendezvous at like, one in the morning or something. In the kitchen." Gwen sighed and made a sound of disappointment. "Looks like I owe Bridge ten bucks."

Courtney expressed a look of outrage while Duncan just smirked, running a hand through his now mussed faux hawk. "You bet on _when _and _where _I would have a sexual fiasco with him?!" Courtney shouted and Duncan said, "What can I say? She just can't keep her hands off me." Which led her to punch him in the arm. Duncan winced, but kept quiet.

"Well I wasn't even sure this was going to happen in the first place!" Gwen snapped "At the rate you guys were going, I thought it would never play out. Luckily four years of pent up sexual tension saved your asses."

"And anyway," Gwen continued, standing up and walking away from the table, coffee in hand. "Maybe now you can finally delete that stupid list of yours Court." Gwen looked over her shoulder and smirked. Duncan turned to Courtney, eyes hard and inquisitive.

"What list?" Duncan demanded.

_#501: He's way too freaking nosy. Curiosity killed the cat, damn it!_

* * *

**A/N: Has it really been three years since I've last published?! Seriously? But what's even more surprising to me is that I actually completed this! To be quite honest, I have no idea where any of this even came from. One thing led to another and then that other barfed words on paper. And birthed from that came this Frankenstein of a creation. Plus I've been missing me some Duncney. I hope it wasn't too terrible and you enjoyed :) **

**Also, I do not own the cover image of this story. I found it on ! **


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